UNDERSTANDING SELF-HARM AND HOW TO HELP
Breaking the Silence
Self-harm is a difficult topic to talk about, often shrouded in stigma and misunderstanding. Self-harm is not a suicide attempt. While it can increase the risk of suicide, it’s typically a coping mechanism used to deal with intense emotional pain. It involves deliberately hurting oneself, often in ways that are not intended to be fatal. Common forms of self-harm include cutting, burning, scratching, hitting, and poisoning.
Self-harm is often a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, such as:
intense emotional pain
When feelings become unbearable, physical pain can provide a temporary distraction or release.
feeling numb / disconnected
Self-harm can provide a sense of being alive and grounded when feeling emotionally detached.
relieving tension or anxiety
The act of self-harm can sometimes provide a momentary release from intense anxiety or tension.
CONTROL
When feeling powerless in other areas of life, self-harm can provide a sense of control over one’s own body and pain.
It’s crucial to remember that self-harm is not a personality trait or a choice. It’s a symptom of underlying emotional struggles that need to be addressed.
Are you struggling with self-harm thoughts?
If you or someone you know is self-harming, please reach out for help. You are not alone. There is hope for recovery and healing. Reach out to the 24/7 Crisis Text Line for free and support from trained volunteer Crisis Counselors.
Recognizing the Signs
Knowing the signs of self-harm can help you identify someone who may be struggling and offer them support. Some common signs include:
UNEXPLAINED CUTS, BRUISES
Especially if the explanations seem illogical or inconsistent.
WEARING LONG SLEEVE CLOTHING
Wearing long sleeve clothing, even in warm weather. This may be attempted to hide injuries.
SOCIAL WITHDRAW AND MOODY
Changes in mood, becoming socially withdrawn from family and friends, or suddenly becoming isolated are all signs to be aware of.
PREOCCUPATION WITH DEATH
Often times an individual practicing self-harm will become preoccupied with death, dying, or even self-harm research.
It’s important to note that someone may be self-harming even if they don’t exhibit all these signs. Trust your instincts and err on the side of caution.
Preventing Self-Harm
Prevention and support are the keys to reducing the incidence of self-harm. This involves:
REDUCING THE STIGMA
Creating a culture where people feel comfortable talking about their emotions and seeking help.
BUILDING RESILIENCE
Helping individuals develop the skills and resources they need to bounce back from adversity.
SUPPORTIVE ENVIROMENTS
Fostering communities where people feel connected, valued, and supported. This is a non-judgemental environment.
HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS
Encouraging individuals to develop healthy ways to manage stress, anxiety, and other difficult emotions.
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Unknown
How to help someone who is self-harming?
If you suspect someone you know is self-harming, it’s important to approach the situation with compassion, understanding, and patience.
Here are some guidelines:
STAY CALM
Avoid panicking or reacting with judgment or anger.
EXPRESS YOUR CONCERN
Let them know you’re worried about them and have noticed some changes in their behavior.
LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGEMENT
Create a safe space for them to talk about their feelings and experiences without interruption or criticism.
VALIDATE THEIR EMOTIONS
Acknowledge their pain and let them know that their feelings are valid, even if you don’t understand them.
ENCOURAGE HELP
Offer to help them find a therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional.
AVOID GIVING ADVICE
Your role is to listen and support, not to solve their problems.
DON’T MAKE FALSE PROMISES
Avoid promising to keep their self-harm a secret, as their safety is paramount.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Supporting someone who is self-harming can be emotionally taxing. Make sure to prioritize your own well-being and seek support if needed.